BATMEN VS BATWOMEN - GTA 5 Gameplay

Description

The outlook wasn’t brilliant for the Funhaus five that day:
The fan-made crew was beating them at online GTA,
And then when Adam died at login, and Bruce Greene did the same,
A pall-like silence fell upon the streamers of the game.

A straggling few logged out and quit to main menu. The rest
Clung to the hope which springs eternal in the human breast;
We thought, “If only Lawrence could but get a whack at that—
We’d put up even money now, with Lawrence at the bat.”

But Bruce preceded Lawrence, and moreover also Blaine
And the former was a farter, while the latter was a pain;
So upon that stricken multitude grim melancholy sat,
For there seemed but little chance of Lawrence getting to the bat.

But Bruce wasted a player, to the wonderment of James,
And Blaine, the much despisèd, caught a rival in his aims;
And when the dust had lifted, and men saw what had aligned,
There was Bruce Greene in the ranking, with Blaine right there behind.

Then from five thousand butts and more there rose a lusty fart;
It rumbled through the our office; it stirred Joel's Jewish heart;
It sounded down in Austin and it ended with a splat,
For Lawrence, mighty Lawrence, was advancing to the bat.

There was ease in Larry's manner as he grabbed the game device;
There was pride in Larry's bearing as he checked his settings twice.
And when, responding to the cheers, he tipped his sweet fedora,
No stranger in the crowd could doubt the greatness of his aura.

The streamers watched intently as his wiped his sweaty mitts;
He checked his shirt for smelly stains a-leaking from his pits;
Then while the other players held controllers in their grip,
Lawrence flashed defiance and a sneer curled Larry's lip.

And now other players came careening towards his toon
And Lawrence stood there watching them in suit of deep maroon
They brawled and fought and swatted till a few of them were dead —
“That ain’t my style," said Lawrence. “You missed your chance" Spoole said.

From office chairs around the room arose a furious hiss,
Like the beating of the storm-waves on a boat of Captain Kris;
“Kill him! Kill the Spoole-man!” Shouted people on their asses
And it’s likely they’d have killed him had not Larwence raised his
     glasses.

With a smile of Texan charity great Larry's visage shone;
He stilled the rising tumult; he bade the game go on;
He signaled to the server, his hands on the game pad;
But Lawrence still ignored it and Spoole exclaimed, “You're bad!”

“Fuck you!” cried Bruce and Adam and the echo cried, "Fuck you!"
But one scornful look from Lawrence and then everybody knew.
The first two tries were warmups, he was ready now at last
And they knew that Lawrence wouldn't let the next chance pass.

The sneer is gone from Larry's lip, his temper is bipolar,
He pounds with cruel violence his thumbs on the controller;
And now the game reloads the match, and now he's loaded in,
And now the air is shattered by the force of Larry's chin.

Oh, somewhere in this favoured land the sun is shining bright,
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light;
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children
     shout,
But there is no joy in Funhaus —mighty Lawrence has wiped out.

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